Monday, May 10, 2010

Getting Hitched....

It had been a fun filled, strange, loving, sad, exciting and complicated journey from the day in summers of 2005 when I first heard of Bhavna to 14th April 2010 till we exchanged rings and made our relationship formal. I wont go on telling the story on how we met, who proposed whom, how things worked out and all. All these answers are capable of a story in itself, which I’ll leave for some time else. This one will start from the day when I called my mom and told her that Bhavna’s parents have accepted us. She was in a sense of shock for the whole 3 minutes 24 seconds we talked. Words had seized to flow and she was just listening, hmmm was the word she knew out of the whole dictionary and she was knocking her head in approval and disbelief. By the time I disconnected the call, it was clear that we had her approval and she would take care of Dad (who had already said yes). Before I called her, Raman (my younger brother) had set the stage and it helped her take the blows. In the coming weeks Raman worked all the time convincing her that inter caste marriage was not such a bad thing.


Bhavna had talked to her dad while leaving Delhi on one of her official trips and he had been very supporting in accepting it and even asked for my dad’s number to talk to him. He sounded anxious, very anxious, its good but frightening too. The next few days went by in making plans on how to go along with things. We wanted to fix everything in one stretch of holidays as i had to travel from Bangalore to Patiala. I had previously planned a Himachal trip with friends, so thought of clubbing both. In the meantime her dad had called up my parents one evening. The talk went smooth apart from the fact that nothing got finalised. My parents didn't want to initiate things and her dad didn't. He asked about my background and date of birth and stuff. We both were in a dilemma on what to do now. Things didn't seem hopeful and there wasn't much we could do. The only factor that made us hopeful was that my mom had asked me to buy a ring of Bhavna's size and choice. Apart from waiting, there wasn't anything we could do, and so we started waiting.

Meanwhile we both thought and thought over the way we should decide and carry on with the meeting stuff. One which sounded good to both of us was that i'll cal my parents to Delhi on 2nd April and will meet Bhavna's parents on the same day and finalize the dates for the initial celebrations. well it didn't work out, so what was planned was that i'll meet Bhavna's parents on 2nd April for lunch and then they'll visit my place on Sunday, 4th April and the future coarse will be decided there. We had canceled the Himachal trip after Bhaskar dropped out. I felt having two weeks at hand would be of immense help.

Now the preparation began, right from choosing the clothes to wear, what to take and how to talk, all instructions and best practices were transferred to make it a flawless meeting. The much awaited day came, 2nd April 2010, 09:00 am i left from Nandi's place in Gurgaon to meet Bhavna in CP from where we could leave for her house. We collected some pastries from CP and some flowers from her colony market and headed for my future in laws house. 

I was greeted by her Ma and elder sister, so i gave the pastries to her and flowers to her mom. Things seemed chilled out as her dad was not at home, i relaxed for the time with just the legs shaking (it happens to me when i am tensed). We had lunch together and then had to go to the jeweler to pick her ring, her dad was to meet us there only. She and Sapna (her elder sister) by now had left no stone unturned in terrorizing me about their dad. I was literally shivering on the thought of meeting him in person, the only good thing was that we were meeting at a public place. I went through my lunch thinking of how to approach him to leave a good first impression. The lunch served was my favourite, starting from rajma, aloo methi and ending with ras malai. I was already loving my mother-in-law. 

The time came to meet her dad. The first shake of hand said it all, i felt like shaking hands with my dad. He was just like him, quite yet caring, his eyes spoke everything. We took the ring, chose one for me, ordered and went back home. I was exulted to meet him and knew he will like me. It was all good at home as we sat and talked for some time, met Naveen (Sapna's husband) and after another cup of tea, we took their leave. I felt the fort was conquered.

I went home, content to meet her parents and a hope that when they come to Patiala on 4th April, everything will turn out good. I reached my dads office by late afternoon on 3rd April. He was not the usual, something was missing. I felt bad but then i knew he will be happy once he meets her and her parents. Sunday came with a wonderful morning. I went to receive her parents  in Patiala to guide them to our house. Her dad and Mom were accompanied by her maternal uncle. They were greeted at home by Daddy and all three chachaji's. They all started talking about family and stuff and how to proceed with the preparations and the customs and all. The talk seemed good as every where there were smiling faces and loud laughs in between. They asked to do a rokka, at first dad was a little adamant, but finally everything settled and within five minutes our relationship took a turn with stamping from both parents. The sagai was decided for the coming Sunday, 11th April and ring ceremony on Wednesday 14th April. It was a great sense of relief. Everyone had lunch and then her parent left for Delhi. Everyone at my place talked about how good everyone was, my dad looked the most content. He really liked Bhavna's dad and that was a big thing for us. The evening was celebrated with a treat from my side to my chachaji's and some emotional talk. The day came to an end with an everlasting smile on my face, the contentment of our secured future. 

The occasions celebration is left for another part of the story.