It’s been a few days now when I lie only on the 1.5 ft part of my 2.5 X 6 ft mattress. My blanket covers the other part. It has now become an integral part of my bed from where I just can’t discard it, no matter how the weather is. I have kept it close even in days when it was nearly 40 °C outside. This has happened over the past one year, I wasn’t always like that. The past one-year brought this change when I wasn’t able to stay away, it had to be over me. If it was hot, I’d still prefer it by my side, with either my arm or my legs over it. Even if I weren’t doing anything like that, I would wake up in the middle of the night and find it over me, safely holding me and asking me to do the same.
From the past few days, it lies by my side but I barely touch. I even don’t try making an effort to do it. Once I did and in return I didn’t get the usual warmth, but an irritating burning hotness. It almost made me realize as if it was saying “Stay away you !@#$”. I stopped, and now I lie all-alone. Though it is there, by my side, I rarely make an effort to clutch it or even touch it. I wake up during the night expecting a part of it to be over me, but alas. A practical person (who decides from his mind and not heart) even rebuked at me saying it’s only a blanket. I guess I no longer want to hear what he says. Don’t know when these nights will end, but they will. Hope is what’s keeping me going.
From the past few days, it lies by my side but I barely touch. I even don’t try making an effort to do it. Once I did and in return I didn’t get the usual warmth, but an irritating burning hotness. It almost made me realize as if it was saying “Stay away you !@#$”. I stopped, and now I lie all-alone. Though it is there, by my side, I rarely make an effort to clutch it or even touch it. I wake up during the night expecting a part of it to be over me, but alas. A practical person (who decides from his mind and not heart) even rebuked at me saying it’s only a blanket. I guess I no longer want to hear what he says. Don’t know when these nights will end, but they will. Hope is what’s keeping me going.
